Not for the first time theMountainGoat wondered what kind of mountain this was.  Every time it seemed the summit of Mount Everspam was getting close he would settle down to rest, eat some spam, cheese and peanut butter before taking a nice little sleep, ready for the final push to his goal only to discover upon waking up that the mountain had somehow grown higher overnight!
'How could such a thing be possible?'  Thought theMountainGoat, but he was curious to see what lay at the top of Mount Everspam and weary but determined he would set out to scale the heights of spam yet again.
Then one bright and brilliant day, months after first setting out on this quest, theMountainGoat woke to find the summit was actually within reach.  By lunchtime that day he was finally stood upon the summit of Mount Everspam and made an incredible discovery.  There spread out below him nestled a hidden valley, green and verdant, bountiful in wild and beautiful flora and fauna. theMountainGoat frolicked in delight to find such a wonder!
The little goat stopped suddenly, what was that he had seen down in the valley?  It looked like others had found the valley before him and made a home, a village down there.  A path led through the trees from where theMountainGoat stood to the village and he set out along the path eager to meet the denizens of this place.  The path was a pinkish colour and slightly springy under his hooves.  Intrigued the goat sniffed the path and took a bite, the path was made of spam!  haha, it would seem Robert Jordan was wrong, on the heights all paths are paved with spam, not daggers!
Soon theMountainGoat reached the village, a sign read "Welcome to the kingdom of The Thread That Never Ends, you'll never leave."  The tired little goat hesitantly approached the village and looked around.  Where were all the people?  There were lots of interesting buildings around such as grand manor houses, a big castle, a cheese emporium, Island Man's Building Contractors, LQ's Body Parts Depot but all were deserted, not a soul in sight.  Then in the centre of the village theMountainGoat discovered a large domed building constructed of glass, a swimming pool, hot tub and bar complex.  Loud pumping music could be heard from inside and the sounds of people laughing, drinking and enjoying themselves.  Unsteadily the tired (not desicated) little creature trotted up to the doors and pushed them open.  All the noise stopped abruptly as everyone turned to stare at the noob.
"Hello my friends, my apologies for startling all you fine folk.  I have been a long time getting here I know, but I have finally scaled your mountain of spam.  Why is it so hot and bright in here?  My head feels woozy, ugh."  And theMountainGoat collapsed in a heap, asleep before he hit the floor.
"Zzzzzzzzzzzzz."